Nothing more than I can handle

so needless to say life throughs you it's curve balls not knowing what to expect.. RIGHT... well yeah obviously after a yaer 3 year relationship getting dumped and kicked out in a whole new world with me and jainah.. crazy but true... i can say that the last 3 months have been a nightmare at times but the best learning experience i have had well one of them.. I have the most amazing family that I wouldn't change for the world.. at times me and my parents have never seen eye to eye but now i know that they would do anything for me... I have amazing friends who are there no matter what and let me cry laugh you name it they are there... I never knew how much my testimony would falter or be tried but these last three months i have wondered how much the lord would deal me and knowing i couldn't take too much more from him.. it's always weird how things happen, in church on sunday the whole theme was repentance and the lord loves us no matter what.. always begrudgingly I go to church when i am at my parents knowing someones going to ask about the wedding or why didn't it happen but now looking back it was inevitable it was going to fail.. we both had our hearts set on different things.. Am i sad.. of course I am being let down for the one things all girls want but in the end knowing that no matter how bad i wanted to make it to the temple Jake wanted something different.. it wasn't in our stars.. but i do have the most amazing little girl out of it who i wouldn't change for the world an
d that has taught me to be selfless.

I know that it is said that when it rains it pours but i am just wondering in my life when the rain will end I don't know how much I can take. it just seems like it is one thing after another. i know that my faith is strong but don't think that it is strong enough. i know the lord won't give more than I can handle but at this point in my life i don't know how much more i can take without breaking. I do have a beautiful daughter that i cannot imagine my life without but what about her dad caring for her too. i just don't get it. i love her more than anything.

i wonder when it will be more shinging moments than tears.

I can't belive that I turned 26 today ahhhhhhhh.. but couldn't ask for a better birthday. My amazing friends- katie miriam, meaghan joel, caroline,napoelaon, sky and of course my love Jake all pitched in an bought me an ipod!!!! i can't even begin to tell you how excited I am... things are going amazingly good. Jainah got her cute pink cast off and is trying to walk.. But I don't think that I am quite ready for that stage yet in life hehehe..
Life is amazingly good wedding plans are coming along quite well. Have to get Jake's sisters out of the way which is the 28th but then we are good to go to finish ours. I am just so glad that my mom is so crafty and willing to help so much..

I can't believe it

I cannot believe that Jainah is already one!! it is so crazy to think that she is. Time has flown by so fast but wouldn't change it for the world. She's finally started to eat by herself and mastered the sippy cup so YEAH no more bottle!!!!! now if she would just walk!!!! she had a great birthday with all of our friends and family.l The weather didn't really cooperate so we couldn't have it at the park so we had it at our house and that was a TON of people in our house... but it was a ton of fun.

Poor Little Girl

my poor little girl has a broken arm. On tuesday night jake was going to get her ready for bed and he hit her right forearm on the doorjam. When I got home from work he told me what had happened. that whole night she cried and hardly slept. The next day of course the 16th was her bday, She wouldn't use her arm, crawl or even stand up. I called the nurses and they said that it was probably just bruised if by monday it wasn't better to call in. So on thursday she still wouldn't use it and it was swollen she had her one year pictures and I called the pediatrician and made an appointment. we got there and she had xrays done. we had to hold her arm so her palm was up and elbow was down I help her and jake held her hand.l She was screaming bloody murder and I knew then that it was broken. Jake was convinced it was just sprained. after the xrays the doc came in and sure enough she had a clean break. Poor Jake almost started crying he felt so bad and not only that but that it had been 2 days since it had happened. Right now she has a formed splint on and on Monday she will get her cast on. She is such a trooper she was such a happy girl the 2 days before we even had her to the doctor and was even happy and cheery for her pictures.

ahhhh

I cannot believe that Jainah turns one on Wednesday how crazy is that?? Life is getting better every day. Bills are getting paid off and soon enough will be able to have a newer car. Of course I won't buy a brand new one but at least a 4 door that is more car seat friendly.

Jainah loves to be outside and in the water. I was planting flowers yesterday in our pots and she would not stay out of the dirt. Jake was moving the bark in our front yard to start diggin a trench to but nice cement borders in and she wanted to play in the dirt rather than with her toys. Good thing Grandma is getting her a sand box for her birthday present!!!

I cannot believe how much they grow everyday. But I wouldn't change it for the world I cannot wait for the day to be a stay at home mommy!

oh my

I can't believe a week from today Jainah will be one. It is so crazy how fast they grow up. I am so excited to have her back after being gone for a month. My mom taught Jainah how to give kisses, hold her own bottle, wave bye. I can't believe it... I am so glad to have such amazing family to help me out and be there for me