Well it's a new year

I have been a little behind. Needless to say working 2 jobs and being a mommy can get crazy at times.. well not to mention being a single mommy. I have learned a lot in the past year about who I am and what I want in my life and will not settle anything less than I deserve.

I have set a few realistic goals that I will accomplish by the end of the year if it kills me. Well not really kills me but I can do it and stay motivated.

1. First of all, I am going to take Jainah to disneyland in November of this year. I have planned the trip with some of my very best friends and I am motivated to do it.I have never been and neither has Jainah of course but this is something that I really want to do.

2. Get out of debt.I have set up an extremely strict budget and am going to live by it. Making sure of course that my daughters needs are taken care of but making sure we get bills paid off to have a better life.

3. Lose the 20 lbs of baby weight that I never lost. Not by going on any special diet but of course by being more active and walking with Jainah on a regular basis.

4. Last of all taking sewing lessons and learning to sew things for Jainah and my self so we have to buy less.

I am determined this year to stick to my goals and attain them. I am strong and know I can do it just need a few reminders here and there to get it accomplished.

Nothing more than I can handle

so needless to say life throughs you it's curve balls not knowing what to expect.. RIGHT... well yeah obviously after a yaer 3 year relationship getting dumped and kicked out in a whole new world with me and jainah.. crazy but true... i can say that the last 3 months have been a nightmare at times but the best learning experience i have had well one of them.. I have the most amazing family that I wouldn't change for the world.. at times me and my parents have never seen eye to eye but now i know that they would do anything for me... I have amazing friends who are there no matter what and let me cry laugh you name it they are there... I never knew how much my testimony would falter or be tried but these last three months i have wondered how much the lord would deal me and knowing i couldn't take too much more from him.. it's always weird how things happen, in church on sunday the whole theme was repentance and the lord loves us no matter what.. always begrudgingly I go to church when i am at my parents knowing someones going to ask about the wedding or why didn't it happen but now looking back it was inevitable it was going to fail.. we both had our hearts set on different things.. Am i sad.. of course I am being let down for the one things all girls want but in the end knowing that no matter how bad i wanted to make it to the temple Jake wanted something different.. it wasn't in our stars.. but i do have the most amazing little girl out of it who i wouldn't change for the world an
d that has taught me to be selfless.

I know that it is said that when it rains it pours but i am just wondering in my life when the rain will end I don't know how much I can take. it just seems like it is one thing after another. i know that my faith is strong but don't think that it is strong enough. i know the lord won't give more than I can handle but at this point in my life i don't know how much more i can take without breaking. I do have a beautiful daughter that i cannot imagine my life without but what about her dad caring for her too. i just don't get it. i love her more than anything.

i wonder when it will be more shinging moments than tears.

I can't belive that I turned 26 today ahhhhhhhh.. but couldn't ask for a better birthday. My amazing friends- katie miriam, meaghan joel, caroline,napoelaon, sky and of course my love Jake all pitched in an bought me an ipod!!!! i can't even begin to tell you how excited I am... things are going amazingly good. Jainah got her cute pink cast off and is trying to walk.. But I don't think that I am quite ready for that stage yet in life hehehe..
Life is amazingly good wedding plans are coming along quite well. Have to get Jake's sisters out of the way which is the 28th but then we are good to go to finish ours. I am just so glad that my mom is so crafty and willing to help so much..

I can't believe it

I cannot believe that Jainah is already one!! it is so crazy to think that she is. Time has flown by so fast but wouldn't change it for the world. She's finally started to eat by herself and mastered the sippy cup so YEAH no more bottle!!!!! now if she would just walk!!!! she had a great birthday with all of our friends and family.l The weather didn't really cooperate so we couldn't have it at the park so we had it at our house and that was a TON of people in our house... but it was a ton of fun.